They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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