I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
