im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Oh god it's open bar.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
