Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
