Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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