He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
My dad just said "fuck circus"
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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