Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
