just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
