Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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