We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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