she was so not down for the gang bang
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize