yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
