dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Randomize
