I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
