So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
she pinky promised me she was 18
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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