remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Terrible idea I love it
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
