marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
