I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
