just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
