This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
