She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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