Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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