So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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