Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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