he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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