M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
