Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
