It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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