and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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