I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
