Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
