drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
