we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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