Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
