it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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