I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
