i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize