What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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