I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
There r osticjed everywhere
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
