Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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