At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
