haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
