Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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