bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Randomize