i don't like sucking hair
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Randomize
