Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
