At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
