Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
