Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
well, you know. whores of a feather.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
