FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
