I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
