Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
