my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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