Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
