the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
