i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
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